Who What and Why
Tabliture and Liner notes

 Back from the Terror Tour.

Highlights, lowlights and stage lights from the UK Subs Tour-

SF kicked balls. Fat Mike, parts of Rancid, Neurosis, and DRI where all in the house. I have seen all of these bands play, now I can say that they have seen me play...pretty wild shit for sure. Bonus props for Mikeo letting us stay at her house for the millionth time.

Seattle- Highlight was lunch at the Acropolis in Portland on the way up. The show was fine and dandy but if you have ever been to this strip joint you know the deal. Thrasher named it the number one place on the planet to eat lunch, nuff said.

Portland- Show went all right. We met a pretty scary lady in a dress that was way too small for her largeness. She flipped boogers at people. Yikes.

Denver- We haven't played a "real" show here in over a year. Good times for sure. Highlight goes to watching Joey get choked by my room mate.

Lincoln- A disappointing turnout, but the kids that did show up were cool as can be. The show was sponsored by Bud. They didn't send a rep so we didn't get any free beer. . .lame.

Omaha- Heeeellyaaaz. The kids there came to tear this place in half. Extra bonus highlight goes to the punks from Kansas who drove up to the show and brought me a handle of Rum. Our fans rule.

Milwaukee- Sucked. Lots of people, but they looked confused. Like they didn't know what to do. No dancing, no clapping, no booing, just a lot of standing around. Highlights were the guys that drove down from some place or another and got me drunk at the bar next door because it was a dry show. Much props fellas.

Extra credit for Wis- The 14 year old girls slumber party that was happening in the motel we stayed at was pretty damn fun. We scared them and maybe even scarred them, but they were troopers to let us hang out. The afore mentioned bottle of rum was defiantly rolled out for this one.

Toledo- Show was weak, but they had a ton of booze back stage. This leads Paige down an epic battle with a bottle of wine. The alley behind the club loses when Paige vomits all over it.

Detroit- We showed up to the club and there is a man passed out at the door. As we get out of the van he pisses himself. Ahh Detroit.

Cleveland- Oh Bouy!!!! Mistress Kickyourf@ckingass was there. She found a paddle in the basement of the club and beat the crap out of us. Even Mr. Food took some licks. As a side note to anyone that has been following us this is the same girl that gave our roadie a black eye last spring. You go Girl.

Springfield Va- Brian from the Subs thinks it would be funny to get me drunk. A Herculean task as it is, he gets the job done. Shots of Goldshlager and Jager along with my per diem of 15-20 beers puts me under the table. I end up in the breakfast area of a Holiday Inn at 6 am screaming bin Laden is a c@cksucker at the morning news. My drunken screaming is much to the dismay of the 30-40 senior citizens who now think I'm more of an anti-christ then he is.

NY NY- You know the deal. What they don't tell you on the news though is that Broadway is a ghost town. Erie shit for sure.

CBGB's the birth place of Punk rock- There was a ton of people there and shit was off the hook. To quote Eddie Spaghetti "It's My Kick Ass Life" After the Show Gen (the super merch girl) wants to go to her Grandma's or some shit. Grandma lives in Staten Island. We were all messed up from going to look at the WTC, plus we were drunk, tired, and lost. Me and Gen got into it and I kicked her out of the van. I felt bad but I couldn't take it one more second .

Allentown Pa- Tension was high as can be at the show. Some old butt hole was telling me I didn't know what punk rock was because I hadn't been there when the Germans stormed Vietnam or something just as retarded. The Subs were pissed because they thought we were stealing their beer, and Gen wouldn't talk to us because we dumped her ass the night before. Plus the club had some noise gate on us. It was for shit. We just let go with a fury that night. No joking around, no bullshit, the PA sucked but it didn't matter. I wanted to kill someone.

New Haven- The first of the a-hole promoters. He wants us to open a five band bill, he wont give us our beer, and he is just an all round ass. He and I start to get into it in the street, tension is getting pretty high. The rest of the band is just sort of waiting around for the first blow. He finally caves and gives us what he is supposed to. I don't think he understood that everyone in our van at this point has declared war with the world and is ready to erupt.

Baltimore- Again, we get into with the promoters. These guys are way cooler though, we get burned in the end, but I didn't feel that bad about it. During the show the moron brothers are breaking glass and fighting anything that moves. I though this would be the end of the breaking bottles. . . I'm proved wrong a few weeks later. After the show we went to the Morphious compound. Those guys rule. Anyone looking to get cd's made should get in contact with them (www.morphious.com). Plus I met a super cool girl there. . . she didn't make me pancakes or anything, but she still ruled.

Tampa- It's a triple play. . . the promoter screws us again. Why do they even sign the contracts? Anyway, enought about the promoter. This night had way too many other things going on. Starting with the Girlie Freak Show. They blow fire out of their pussy and let enough electricity run through them that they can light a light bulb in their mouths. If you get a chance, they are worth seeing. After the show things go haywire. First someone slashed our tires while we were playing, so Paige and I are trying to fix the tire with some dude as it's raining balls. All of our gear is on the street getting wet. Paige and I are losing it trying to deal. Mr. Food is leaving the tour that night so he didn't care, Todd is in the Bus with the Girlie Freak Show and Gen is passed out in a puddle between two large piles of her own vomit. RAD. To top the story off I was messing around with a girl earlier in the night and she had to go so I jacked off into a plastic bag...beautiful!

Mr. Foods Last stand- On the way down to New Orleans we dropped Mr. Food off at a gas station so he could catch a cab to the airport. It was pretty weird, no one said anything. It was like he got out to take a piss and we just rolled with out him (he is still our drummer, he just didn't finish the tour). Todd was passed out, Gen and Food we're not getting along and Paige and I were still bickering over the tire.

New Orleans- At this point we needed a day off bad and some new blood in the van. We got to town, got my brother Al, and went to the French Quarter to get wrecked. The Big Easy ain't no joke. Where the bourbon flows and the bars don't close! We drank until 7 am when Al had to go to school to take a test before he could leave for tour.

Houston- KICKED ASS. There where tons of people there ready to rock out. Al hadn't played drums with us in 4 months and was a little rusty but no one gave him any shit. Besides the show being killer our home girl flew in to see us and got us a room afterward. Large shouts out to Chris And Brandi.

San Antonio- How cool was this show. . .? When we got there the bartender was all stoked to meet us and kept feeding us extra drinks, plus she flowed about $40 in free red bull. After the show she took all nine of us (subs included) back to stay at her house, then the next day she tried valiantly to hook Nicky up with her moms. Yea baby, you rule. Besides the killer bartender the show was packed and kids were going off. Milwaukee, take notes.

Courpus Christy- One man running with a knife and 30-40 kids chasing him. Madness.

Dallas- We stunk the place up. A train wreck of a show. I think we've played with the Hellions four times in Dallas now and every time they kick ass and we blowout.

Tempe- What happened here????? The promoter forgot what the key word is in his name "promote". No flyers, no print no nothing. A few punks knew about the show because of Gen and our friends. The strangeness comes out when we find that the show was double booked with a sorority costume party. A friend of mine put it best when he said "it's like Vikings at a Bar Mitzvah." Extra points for the smashing of the pinata, the chocolate throwing, and the size-huge bunny mask I played in. It lacked a mouth piece so I had to sing out of the eye hole.

Bakersfield- We got to the show and there was a line down the ally, Yea! Then they said we had to load in through the line, No! The show was off the wall. the stage was only about a foot high and there was kids all over us, tripping over shit, you couldn't move. Plus they were beating the crap out of each other. It seemed like every kid that came by was bleeding. BF puts LA to shame.

Corona- The place was packed and they hated us they thought we were metalheads. Whatever, we'll get them tomorrow...

LA- The place was packed and they hated us they thought we were metalheads.

After the show I was sitting outside on Santa Monica Blvd. and some guy came by and gave me a bunch of what I thought was cocaine. I got destroyed on his stuff & kissed a 50+ year old Transvestite, what was that that strnge powder ? (just say no? why didn't I listen?) After about 20 seconds of that maddness we got in the van and went home.


Thanks for listening...

Punk Rawk!


Last Up Dated Nov 21th, 2001



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These Three photos were shot in Omaha I can't find the shooters name. If you know who took them please tell us.
Mr Fucking Funny Guy Food took these photos behind the club in Toledo.

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Smiley Emily with the photos

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